Saw Donnie Darko a second time today, with a friend from Leeds; it survived rewatching quite well.

Afterwards, I described my ‘Dance Dance Revolution’ theory of cognitive development to her. It’s a little like Piaget’s controversial theory (although obviously much sillier). Jean Piaget was a psychologist who believed that children when through qualitatively different levels of cognitive maturity as they grew up. For example, he said that during the ages of six to twelve, children were in the ‘concrete operational stage’ in which they can perform cognitive ‘operations’ (like mental rotation, that sort of thing). However, only when they reached the age of twelve and graduated to the ‘formal operational stage’ could they concentrate on hypothetical situations and solve highly abstract, logical problems.

Piaget’s theory is a veritable piece of Swiss cheese now, what with all the holes that have been poked in it. Even so, it’s still interesting to discuss it, and I have based my Dance Dance Revolution theory upon it. Indeed, I propose that a new stage can be added to his progression of cognitive maturity, called ‘Dance Dance Revolution appreciation’.

There are those in the world who do not show an appreciation of Dance Dance Revolution; for some inexplicable reason, they have an urge to mock what is an inoffensive, entertaining and healthy game that promotes exercise and social skills. These people, I believe, have not achieved full advancement of their cognitive facilities. On the other hand, those who have passed through the ‘DDR stage’ will demonstrate an understanding of the true qualities that DDR holds; such people are at the zenith of cognitive development, I believe, and will in addition exhibit greater emotional development and what can be best described as ‘all round coolness’.

(If a DDR machine is not available nearby for testing purposes, a video of a DDR freestyler is an acceptable substitute)

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